My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
