idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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