Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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