I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There r osticjed everywhere
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
