Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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