please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
