addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
