So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
