If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
