Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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