theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize