she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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