Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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