i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
