The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
