making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
