Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
did you just send me my own nude
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
