Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
