did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
