My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
