Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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