I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I can text with my tongue
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
