epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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