Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
