I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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