youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
