He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
