I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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