I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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