Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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