I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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