i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
