She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize