I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
