no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
