yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I will pee on everything he values.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
