Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize