Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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