Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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