I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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