And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
