in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
