whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
