there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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