ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
