i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize