I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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