She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
