dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
