Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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