Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I need moral support for this bender
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
