dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
