how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
