He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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