I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
