dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
