the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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