'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
