The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
