Sry I called you an 8
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
