i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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