What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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