you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
