Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
