i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
