Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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