I'm jealous of your bromance
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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