So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
