Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
