he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
All the doctor said was why
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
