Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
