i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
