allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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