he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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