new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
