i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
