Dual....:-)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
