brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
