and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
