we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
