i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
