I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize