Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
