check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
